I've come to eat Red Nuke Powder again.
And tell the people about these chips that suck.
Or maybe be rewarded for pressing my luck.
For these chips are the warm-up to next week.
Weird flavors I seek...
|Nice rich welcoming color, no blaring typesets or screaming color schemes...|
|I am already wary. Is that RNP or Tang?|
There is some heat here. Not the weird chemical warfare that happens to your face when you eat anything with Red Nuke Powder on it, but heat none the less. It grows slowly, so much so that I didn't notice it until I was on my 4th or 5th chip. It also has a nice plateau of heat that is well below tolerable, if not actually pleasant. It's as if the chips themselves are saying, "Yeah, man, I'm spicy. But it's the kind of spicy you like. I want you to finish my bag without pain or suffering. Just a pleasant low simmer for you to enjoy at your leisure..."
Thanks, chips, I think I will.
Rank 4.1/5.0 - These were actually quite good, I would eat them again. I imagine these would be great old school baloney sandwiches and some Kool-Aid.
So, this was the warm up. Something easy to work out, like a slow walk on a sunday morning. But, worse things are coming. You know what I mean. The Lay's "Do Us a Flavor" promotion has started. Be on the lookout in coming weeks for the following atrocities:
Kettle Cooked Gyros <--I had 1 single chip of these already, in a word: bland
Wavy West Coast Truffle Fries <--I already know these will suck because real truffles will not be involved
Southern Biscuits & Gravy <--I reserve judgement on what appears to be horrible
New York Reuben <--First, Nebraska invented the Reuben, so fuck that noise. Also, will probably suck because it has the option of being great and so the furthest to fall.
So, yeah, look forward to these trainwrecks. I can't help but feel that, compared to last year, these are all weak-sauce flavors. None of them are uniquely weird like the cappuccino of last year, they're all kind of a safe bet. But I guess we'll find out soon enough.