Friday, April 10, 2015

In which I judge a book by it's cover...

This is in my hand, mistakes were made...
I'm a sucker and perhaps a glutton for punishment.  I have purchased, on purpose, another (new!) flavor or Dinamita Doritos.  This time "Mojo Criollo" flavor.

Next time I'm in bed with someone I'm going to say "Mi Explotar de Sabor!"
More and more of the packaging for this product line is being printed in Spanish.  I mean, the ingredients and legal warnings/wavers are in english (by law) but the big bold text on the front and back is starting to make me wonder if I am not the target audience.

Now I know mistakes were made...
The next question about these is, "what the hells is Mojo Criollo?"

Seriously, what is it?  I had to look on wikipedia and determined that it is some breed of horse or sheep.  So, these are horse-flavored snacks?  This could be interesting....   Nope, I found a recipe for a Cuban marinade with Citrus juice(s) and Garlic.  Actually, that sounds better than horse, maybe.  But before I've even opened the bag I've seen enough and felt enough and remembered enough of other flavors that I'm thinking, "there is no way in hells that these are going to score over 2/5..."

Hang on, where's the RNP?
And I was wrong.  I opened the bag to be shown this rather bland looking pile of pale yellow sticks.  I actually said out loud, "These aren't swimming in Red Nuke Powder!"  And then I ate one.

They were. . .  good!  They are a little zingy from a not overpowering portion of the chemical citrus juice flavor I've tasted before, and the rest was garlic and unidentified spices.  I was now kind of excited, as these did not rip out my face, violate my throat, or shit on my tongue.  The flavor was mild and did not linger overly long.  I actually thought at first that these could be a 5!  But, alas, I've become so used to the GRRRR  ARGH FLAVOR FACE FUCK of other chips that I actually became bored with these.

I think they'd be great for dipping into . . .something, but by themselves they ended up left by the wayside.  At the end of the day I threw away about 1/2 the bag, not because they were bad, but because I was bored with them.  I couldn't even justify taking the rest home with me.

Like this post, they were so boring you'll forgot you read it an hour from now...

Rating: Meh 3 / Meh 5

Friday, April 3, 2015

Okay, this is just getting ridiculous...

So, here we are again, it's been awhile.  How have you been?  Things going well?  Good, good. . .

OMG it's DORITOS JACKED 3D!!!!!!!! (Jalapeno Pepper Jack flavor)

With Avengers 2 movie tie-in!
I'm cautiously optimistic about this

Tiny Triangles, very dense, hurt teeth

Okay, maybe optimistic is not the right word.  The bag is smaller than your average chip bag and the contents are small and heavy.  The aroma is "Dorito" but weakly so.  Considering the density of the chip-material and that the bag only weighs 3 1/8 oz., you can imagine that you can have a few big chippy things, or a bunch of very small ones.

I am underwhelmed

Apparently they went with the small/many combo...

But what do they taste like?

Let me try one....

GRRRAAWWWWW!!!!!

FLAVOR INTENSE AT FIRST BUT SOON LEAVE MOUTH HOLE.

TINY TRIANGLES CRUNCHY AT FIRST

SOON TURN TO MUSH!

FEEL LIKE TEETH CLEANED WITH BAD DOG TREAT

NOW ME THROAT ALL ITCHY

ME NO LIKE MUSHY ITCHY TRIANGLES

ME GIVE 2.3 OUT OF 5

NO EAT AGAIN