Interviewer: You’re in a desert walking along in the sand when all of the sudden you look down, and you see a tortoise, it’s crawling toward you. You reach down, you flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can’t, not without your help. But you’re not helping. Why is that?
Subject: A TURTLE BIT ME ONCE… <30 seconds of silence>
Interviewer: Describe in single words, only the good things that come into your mind about your mother.
Subject: MECHANICAL, COLD, RENDING
Interviewer: You're watching a stage play - a banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog stuffed with rice. The raw oysters are less acceptable to you than a dish of boiled dog.
Subject: DUE TO MY INORAGNIC CONSTRUCTION I DO NOT REQUIRE BIOLOGICAL NUTRIENTS
Interviewer: A final question: A stranger comes up to you on the street and hands you a bag of Sabritones Chile & Lime Flavored Puffed Wheat Snacks. How does this make you feel?
Subject: I LOVE SABRITONES THEY ARE AN EXCELLENT SNACK FOOD
Interviewer: I'm sorry Leon, but you have failed this Exam. . .
|This is a really big bag, but it weighs barely over 3 oz....|
|Look for the smiley logo, as warning.|
|Remarkably air filled for such an already airy snack.|
|They're all like this, slightly curled formerly square puffed fried blistery whatsits.|
The flavor is bland. Ironically, it's like they tried to make Red Nuke Powder, but couldn't find enough food coloring or harsh chemicals to make the RNP really pop. Weak flavor, horrible texture and a heaping helping of self loathing; this may be the worst thing I've ever reviewed for this blog. At least Cracker Jacks had a shitty prize and some sugar...
Rating: 0.95/5.0 and dear god don't try to eat these while drinking coffee, you might wish you could vomit from the aftertaste...