The nights are long, dark and deep.
It has been so long since I felt you upon my lips, tasted you...
I find myself turning to the embrace of others.
Spending time with those I would not by choice have associated if you were near.
Where have you gone?
I see you everyday, but not with me.
Four new suitors have shouted and danced and gyrated to garner my attention, but they are not you.
My one.
My only.
My Red Nuke Powder™...
The slog continues... |
Let's start with being mad before I even open the bag. The Reuben was invented in Omaha, NE. There are several restaurants who argue about who was the first, but no culinary historian worth their salt would ever dispute that the home of the Reuben is Beef-Town USA, Omaha, NE. So, yeah, FUCK YOU, NEW YORK!!! THIS IS NOT YOUR SANDWICH, YOU ASSHOLES!!! I mean, WTF, Big Apple? You've already got claim to so much in this country, you gotta steal our pastrami (Or corned beef!) on rye sandwich and say it's yours? YOU DON'T EVEN MAKE SAUERKRAUT!!!
Okay, I'm done.
As usual, we're dealing with the "big bag, lots of air" packing method that (usually) ensures that most of you chips will still be uncrushed when you open your snack. I understand the why, but the what is still, "Hey, I just opened this and most of it is empty already..."
Capt', the bottom looks to be about 5 fathoms down. |
You will notice the stark lack of something that has come to represent the best (and worst) of this blog. That's right, there is No RNP in this product. So, we obviously think we can rely on actual flavor instead of the taste-bud equivalent of ICBMs. (I kinda miss the RNP to be honest...)
The flavor is. . . meh. There's potato chippy flavor and texture, they're light and crisp and potatoey and salty. But there's no Zazz! No Pop! I just get these vaguely umami ambient taste tones on my tongue that trick my brain into thinking someone is slicing pastrami approximately 2 miles upwind...
These aren't bad, don't get me wrong. They're just boring. I suppose if you're someone who doesn't like a good salt & vinegar punch in the mouth while you have a sandwich, these would be great accompaniment to an actual reuben sandwich.
In the end, eating something like this makes me miss last year's Mango Salsa. Or, god forbid, the cappuccino flavored horror; not at all good, but at least interesting.
Rating: 2.blah/5.wut?
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