Friday, October 24, 2014

Fun + Onions = Funyuns?

Before we even start here, why the hell does every "hot" chip/snack now have to be completely covered in hyper-red finger and pants-staining flavor nuke powder?  It's like all chips/cheesepuffs/snacks need to come with a pair of disposable chopsticks for me to maintain my not red-handed dignity.  But I digress...

Flamin' Hot Funyuns!  
Hank Green is not impressed...
I honestly can't remember the last time I had regular Funyuns, so when I saw these I immediately thought, "New Blog Post!"  Actually, I think that a lot lately.  I hope this doesn't degenerate into LA Beast territory...

So, when I saw these sitting on the rack at the stuffer shack I knew I wasn't getting out of buying some.  As with many non-chip-shaped snacks lately, they are in an air-filled bag and tend to settle to the bottom.  The over-inflated bag is actually a safety feature which keeps the individual rings/sticks/orbs from being crushed to a powder from rough handling by being its own airbag.  That being said, there was a disappointingly meager volume of actual snack laying at the bottom of the bag.

Forced perspective makes my hand look even bigger than it normally is.
The whole bag weighed out at 2 3/8th oz or, at $1.49 a bag, just over $10 per pound.  I think to put snacks in perspective we should all think price per pound; I bet we would buy less or at the very least pay less than we do.  The snack itself tasted okay I guess.  They really phoned this one in.  It was literally just regular Funyuns coated with that slightly sour, ever so slightly bitter, but chemically hot, red spice-powder.  I think it's supposed to imitated a halfway point between buffalo sauce and Frank's Red Hot, maybe.
Please enjoy our hard-fried spicy prolapse rings...
One could say that they phoned it in so hard, that I am phoning in this review just for eating it.  I am torn between putting in a moratorium on reviewing any snack with the red spice powder of death on it, and not having anything new to review.  Since it seems that every new and "extreme" chip is absolutely covered with the stuff.

Maybe I'll just switch to doing reviews on yogurt or salad....

Rating: Meh, out of Ehh  (2.25/5)